To truly cherish the things that are important to you,
you must
first discard those that have outlived their purpose.
—Marie
Kondo, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying
Up
So this is
how you change a life
A little
more than half way through.
I must be
grateful not for my socks
But to my
socks. They work so hard
At carrying
me.
And really
don’t we all deserve
To be rolled,
then gently stood up straight?
From when I
was a girl in pilly polyester tights
Choking on
my turtleneck
I reached just
like they tell you to do
For the
stars within reason. But now
I’m half of
the time on my knees
Collecting Lego,
each one a snowflake.
Not like the
Lego of my youth that was all bricks
Three colors
like the French flag.
Like the
movies I saw Rouge Blanc and Bleu
That called
me: Make a movie like this where
the light
moves across the frame
across the
frame and across the face of a beautiful woman
and that is
enough! I wanted to.
Half the
time on my knees.
Oh, Karl Ove
Knausgaard! Come sit by me and tell me how
You can
change a diaper but my representation
Counciled
me, cautioned me,
Never say family. Family means missing
Deadlines
and unavailable for shooting.
You didn’t
have to tell me that: I knew. Till I turned forty
And spread
my legs for a syringe and a quiet bald man.
He knocked
me up in under a minute
After all
those years of hoping no one would.
In under a
minute
I returned
to the arms of the man I love. All hair.
Emerging
from the cupboard with the Barely Legal
magazines
He swore he
didn’t touch.
Twice we did
this.
Twice.
For the
king’s family.
Take them
from me, don’t take them.
I would die
without them.
Declutter my
soul! Marie Kondo, I implore you!
I am
unavailable for shooting!
I am too
full of lyrics and resentment
I am too
full of slogans and bad habits
Too full of
small exclusions
Too full of
wild assumptions
Of scrambled
eggs and Power Rangers
Too, too
full of parking tickets.
Are these
hot flashes sparks of joy?
Move the fan
to where it blows on me Marie
And oh Marie
These socks have
carried us down the street
Down to the
freeway and the front door’s standing open.
