Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

When a man clothed by the state pursues a man in rags, it is in order to make of him a man who is also clothed by the state. Only, the whole question lies in the color. 

Margalo's pitches for senior quote

 I want to thank my chiropractor for always having my back.

I want to thank my nail tech for always holding my hand.

I want to thank my massage therapist for always making me feel kneaded.

Tenor saxophonist Al Cohn [via Brian Chellas]

A gentle­man is someone who knows how to play an accordion, but doesn't.

Attributed to Henry Thoreau in Elmore Leonard, Cat Chaser [via Brian Chellas]

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.

Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

LADY ASTOR: If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.

WINSTON CHURCHILL: If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

From Wilder, You All Spoken Here [via Brian Chellas]

If brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

 

            If a bird had his brains he'd fly backwards.

 

            He's so ugly no fly'd ever land on him.

 

            Looks like he's been chewin' tobacco and spittin' in the wind.

 

            When he was a baby he was so ugly they fed him with a slingshot.

 

            She's so fat that if she had to haul ass she'd have to make two trips.

 

            [As tearful as] a child that's lost his chewing gum on a henhouse floor.

 

                        

Dean Acheson [via Brian Chellas]

Don't just do something, stand there.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, House of Seven Gables [via Brian Chellas]

The sick in mind, and, perhaps, in body, are rendered more darkly and hopelessly so, by the manifold reflection of their disease, mirrored back from all quarters, in the deportment of those about them; . . . 

Ecclesiastes, 12:12 [via Brian Chellas]

. . . be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

 

Burma Shave ad [via Brian Chellas]

She kissed the hairbrush / by mistake. / She thought it was / her husband Jake.

 

Burma Shave ad [via Brian Chellas]

No lady likes / to dance or dine / accompanied by / a porcupine.

de Palfrey, in John le Carre, The Russia House [via Brian Chellas]

Just the usual triumph of the fattest, disguised as a rational deduction.

 

Sherlock Holmes, in Arthur Conan Doyle, “The Copper Beeches” [via Brian Chellas]

Crime is common. Logic is rare.

Saint Augustine, Confessions, book 4, chapter 6 [via Brian Chellas]

I was at the same time thoroughly tired of living and extremely frightened of dying.

Werner Herzog, Every Man for Himself and God Against All

Be strong, be smart, bring your toothbrush, be kind, work hard, be beautiful.

Werner Herzog, A Guide for the Perplexed

Read, read, read, read, read.